


Is This More Than You Bargained For Yet?

by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Don't worry no one really dies, Hospital, M/M, Steve never met Bucky again, Stucky - Freeform, that's just a warning, tw: death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-03 03:03:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2835653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BernThemAll/pseuds/Bernthemall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a Prompt by otpprompts on tumblr.</p><p>Steve is a part-time volunteer at a hospital when he isn't avenging, but when he finds a rugged, beaten-up John Doe in a forgotten room, his visits become more regular.</p><p>(Title from Fall Out Boy's 'Sugar, We're Going Down.')</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is This More Than You Bargained For Yet?

**Author's Note:**

> Psst, none of the stuff I say in this fic can be backed up with any knowledge at all. Just imagine it happens for the sake of the fic. 
> 
> Disclaimer: The character's in this fic are the property of Marvel and I don't own any of them (Sadly).

Steve enters the dingy hospital with a cheery smile upon his face, the tray of piping hot coffees balances on one of his strong hands and a bag of cookies hangs in his other.

"Hi everyone!" He called to the pack of doctors and nurses that had camped out by the reception desk, "Seems pretty quiet today, huh?"

The professionals grin at him, obviously relieved to see such a happy face, "Hey, Steve." A few of them greet in unison

"What're you up to today?" A short dark haired nurse asks, taking a coffee from the tray Steve had set down on the desk, "Going to visit the babies?"

Steve laughs; he always did visit the babies, it made him happy to see new life. To see that no matter how disastrous the world was right now, there's always going to be a new generation to make it a little better.

"No I think I'm going to visit the terminally ill." He sighs, he wouldn't enjoy it, but he'd seen his fair share of death and he knew he could handle it.

"You sure, Son?" An older doctor with a rich dark skin tone, Doctor Haye, asks, clasping his shoulder softly. Steve always laughed when the doctor called him 'son', the irony was hilarious considering that Steve was at least 30 years older than him. Steve nods anyway and gives the doctor a reassuring smile before disappearing down the halls.

As he stalks the hospital hallways, Steve could feel the presence of Death lurking in every corner. There were people crying, people sulking, and people just lying there.. unconscious. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

He's about to turn back, go straight back towards the babies and new life, not ones that are ending, when he sees a closed door. It wasn't unusual, not in a hospital at least, but this door was _always_ closed. Whenever Steve went walking down these halls, everything would change, new patients, old patients - dead patients, but that door and that room never changed. Steve'd never gone in, he didn't want to go where he wasn't wanted, so he looks  through the small window instead. 

His heart drops when he sees a young man, no older the 30, lying with his face slightly bruised, unconscious. There are no flowers, no balloons or cards from loved ones and Steve realises abruptly that he doesn't _have_ any. He decides then and there that it would be a tragedy if this man was forced to die with no one by his side. So he pushes the door open tentatively, surveying the room as it swings. 

"Hello?" He says, before remembering that the man was in a _coma_ , then shakes his head. Steve steps closer towards the bed and lifts the clipboard that hangs on the metal railing.

"John Doe." Steve reads then looks at the man, "No one's claimed ya buddy? Damn." He shakes his head and reads on, "You were found near dead on the side of a road?! In a black skin tight combat outfit?" Steve narrows his eyes, "Who the heck are you?"

~~~

Three days later, Steve finds himself in that morbid room at the end of the terminally ill ward with a bouquet of flowers and a CD player. He places the flowers in a vase the nurse had given him when he'd walked in ("Who's that for?" She'd said, and Steve just shrugged his shoulders, told her "That John Doe in Terminally Ill" and ignored the surprised reaction.) He plugs the CD player into the lone socket by the bed. 

"I figured that if you  _can_ hear anything, I should play some music.. something calm of course." Steve thinks he sees a faint frown and he reaches a hand out to touch the John Doe's face. Steve brushes a few loose strands of dark hair from the patient's pale sickly skin. 

"What colour are your eyes?" Steve wonders aloud as he sets up the CD player. He thinks fleetingly that he's seen 'John' before but he can't think where. Steve hasn't got any friends in this era besides his superbuddies. He shakes the thoughts off and proceeds to sit with his book in hand.

"Okay. Chapter One..."

~~~

"You've gone to the hospital five times in two weeks. Has there been a baby boom or something?" Natasha muses when Steve walks into the Avengers Tower after an evening with the John Doe. Steve scowls at her, making a beeline straight for the kitchen. 

"No." He replies sharply, preparing himself a small glass of whiskey. Natasha grins at him when she sees the tell tale signs that he'd been to visit the same patient he talked about a few days ago.

"You went to see your friend." She jibes.

"Shut up. He's not my  _friend._ " Steve insists, "I just feel bad for'im. S'all." He shrugs casually despite the gnawing feeling of familiarity he feels whenever he talks about his John Doe. He  _knew_ him. He did. He just had no idea where from. It fucking frustrated him. 

"Is he hot? Is that why you've been visiting him more than necessary?" Steve is outraged (not really) when she suggests this, and he throws a stress ball (Bruce's stress ball) at her, but she catches it effortlessly.

"Whether he's hot or not - which he is - isn't relevant."

"Then why?" Natasha seemed to be in a nosy mood today. Hooray. 

Steve's shoulders slump. He contemplates telling Tasha how he feels, since he trusts her more than anyone. 

"I know him." At the Black Widow's confused look, he elaborates, "Knew him. I think... He just looks familiar. But I don't know anyone apart from you guys. So it's weird." 

Something in the Russian changes and she looks as though she'd seen a ghost. Natasha gets up abruptly, grabbing her coat. 

"I wanna see him."

And when his friend has that expression etched on her face, Steve knows to go along with whatever she says.

~~~

"Figures." Tasha says when she's gotten a good look at the unconscious figure on the bed. She steps closer, past Steve who lets out a faint 'be gentle', and runs the back of her pale hand along the man peaceful face. 

"What does?" Steve says and  Natasha's head whips around to look at him as if she'd forgotten he was there, "Uh nothing," She says and it's quiet for a little while. Then the Black Widow looks as if she's contemplating something. Her eyebrows furrow slightly and her head dips, her lips tightening the smallest amount,

"I'm not telling you here. I think you should see something." 

~~~

"They call him the 'Winter Soldier'," Natasha states bluntly as she places a stolen shield file on the table before Steve. They're in the Avengers Tower, Steve is dressed in his loungewear - a pair of grey sweatpants and a blue t-shirt, and Natasha in jeans and a loose hoodie. The attire, however, couldn't be more contrasting to the situation. "He's an assassin. A deadly one. I met him on a mission a while back. He was after one of my guys and when he found us, he shot him... Straight through me."

At that moment, Natasha lifts her shirt, just enough to display a patch of scar tissue that was no more than 6 inches long.

"You mean.. The man in the hospital. He did that to you. He's an assassin?" Steve looks horrified, unable to comprehend how someone who looks so peaceful could bring such terror, "Oh my God."

"It's not that simple, Cap." The spy sighs, "Steve what I'm about to show you- it won't be easy. So just be prepared."

"What are you talking about?" Steve asks confused as she slides the file in front of him. She opens it onto a page with a picture of James Barnes on it. He's dressed in his army uniform. It's his official photograph and it makes Steve's heart lurch when he thinks back to those days.

"That's Bucky. What's he got to do with this?" he says, trying to gather his emotions, "He's- He's dead. He died a long time ago."

"Well apparently not."

~~~

The Black Widow spends an hour explaining to Captain America the fact that his est friend was brainwashed by a group of hydra agents that conditioned him to be a deadly weapon. She tears up herself when she realises that she was once, in James Buchanan Barnes' shoes. In a different time and place, but the pain was no different.

"I lost him 70 years ago. And I'm about to lose him again." Steve whispers to himself and Natasha finally understands how close Captain America and his right hand man exactly were. She finally understands how painful it was losing him the first time. 

~~~

"So we're going to do it?" Doctor Haye finalises with his colleagues as they stand over their long term patient. The John Doe. 

"Yep. But when?" Another, younger doctor asks him. They all know that this is the hardest part of the job but it had to be done. The man would been in more pain if he continued to live like this.

"What's going on? 'When' what? Why are you all here?" Steve asks after having suddenly appeared. He's carrying a 'sounds of the ocean' CD in his hand, but drops it when he realises what they'd been talking about, "No."

"I'm sorry Steve. But he's been here for a year. Being on life support.. It's doing him more harm than good."

"So you're gonna kill him?!" Steve exclaims, pushing past the professionals and taking the seat next to his friend's bed. He grabs his hand and squeezes it tightly.

"It's not killing him, Steve." Doctor Mora, a lovely plump woman who liked to give Steve cookies once a week, explained, "We're just taking him off life support. There nothing we can do for him. We're sorry."

"No! You're not sorry! You can't let him die! Please! Don't let him die. I'll take care of him. Please. He can't die, not again." Steve starts of shouting and facing the army of doctors and nurses, but by the end, he's pleading in a broken voice and curled into Bucky's side with his forehead resting on their entwined hands.

 The room goes silent when everyone collectively pieces together why Captain America is so adamant.

"Okay, Steve." Doctor Haye gives in, resting a hand on the large man's shoulder. "Just take care of him."

~~~

Steve does take care of Bucky. He visits him every day after that, even if only for a few minutes. He can't be away from him for more than a day. He tells Bucky stories of when they'd known each other. Before the serum, before the war. 

"You remember when we were outside the apartment?" He says, as if Bucky could actually answer. "It was after my ma died, you grabbed my shoulder and told me you were 'with me till the end of the line.'" Steve chokes a laugh, "Well Buck, I'm with you till the end of the line." 

Bucky makes no signs of having heard anything. 

~~~

"Hey Buck." Steve says when he enters the tired old room again. "I brought some more songs." He chuckles slightly, "You know you'd probably strangle me for subjecting you to this much crappy music. You had the best music taste, Buck, back then. So hip, always impressed all the dames."

Steve puts the disk into the player and starts it. A tune from the 1930s suddenly plays smoothly out of the speakers and Steve smiles. "You loved this song, Bucky. I remember when we danced to it together... You said 'Y'know Stevie, you're a lot better dancer than the dames I go out with.'" Steve scoffs, "I should have told you that you'd be better off going out with me instead.. I guess I was just chicken."

~~~

"Steve, this is getting ridiculous." Tony tells Cap when he announces that he's going to the hospital. "I understand that this guy-"

"Bucky." Steve interjects coldly, "He's not some random guy, Stark."

"Alright, alright. Jeez, don't get your star-spangled briefs in a twist, Cap." Tony corrects himself, "I understand that _Bucky_ is your friend. But he's not well Steve. Can't you see that. You're not helping him. He's gonna die sooner or later."

"Stark!" Nat scolds Tony and smacks the back of his head, "That was harsh!"

"No. No he's right, Nat." Steve said, "But at least I'm not abandoning him. Not leaving him to die. He was more than just my friend and I'm not gonna give up on him."

"Fine. But when you get hurt don't expect any sympathy from me."

~~~

Steve's world comes crashing down a week after his confrontation with Iron Man. He'd gone to the hospital to visit Bucky. This time, he'd brought a box of chocolates and a 'Dreamboats and Petticoats' soundtrack. It takes him a few steps to notice the flock of medical professionals that had once again gathered around his best friend's bed. 

"For the last time, you are not pulling the plug!" Steve hisses and pushes past them all, making his usual seat by the bedside. 

"Steve." Is all the prompting it took for the superhero to realise that Bucky's heart rate monitor wasn't on. And that Bucky himself, wasn't breathing. Steve didn't say anything, his breath just hitched and he gripped Bucky's hand so tight that his knuckles went white. He stayed like that for the longest time, just watching Bucky, waiting for him to get up and tell him that it was 'just  a prank ya little punk'. That jerk was just playing. 

"We found him just before you came. We're so sorry, Captain Rogers." And Steve knew they were. No one ever used his full title unless they were truly sincere. Steve nods brokenly, tears threatening to fall.

"Thank you. Could you..." He trails off as the doctors all scramble to leave them.

When they're all gone, Steve lets the tears fall. It isn't loud, or ugly, but they come at full force. The only sounds coming from the dimly lit room were the quiet, barely audible sobs of 'Bucky, c'mon.' and  'Bucky, it's not funny anymore'.

When it finally sinks in that he's gone, Steve lifts his head to look at his first love. Because that's what he was to Steve, and always will be. He loved and still loves Bucky.

"Buck. I love you so much. Please come back to me." Steve says as silent tears stream sparsely down his blotchy red cheeks.

At the lack of response, the hero's shoulders slump and he stands. He takes hold of the sides of Bucky's face and lowers his head. He rests his forehead on Bucky's and breathes deeply. In. Out. In. Out. His lips draw closer to Bucky's and brush his ever so slightly.

"I love you so much, Jerk." And he pulls away. He lets go of the assassin's hand and takes a deep breath. 

When he turns away and starts walking towards the door, he doesn't hear it at first and thinks it's his imagination. But after Steve stops then carries on without looking back, there's no mistake.

"I said, I love you too, Punk." 

"Bucky." Steve whispers disbelieving, his back still facing the man. When he does turn to face him, Bucky has his head tilted to look at Steve, he's got that stupid smirk plastered on his face that brings fond memories of Brooklyn flooding back.

"Stevie." 

"But, you were dead." Steve breathes, stepping  closer with every syllable, until he's got Bucky's face in his hands once again.

"Maybe your lips are magic." Bucky jokes, even with a dry throat, "I told ya, Punk, I'm with ya till the end of the line."

 

 


End file.
